Beyond Referrals Read online

  We continue to gain permission from our prospects to probe, and in our efforts we learn to be a resource for them. We invite them to take a look at how we might serve them. The combination of building trust and providing value along the way is what allows this process to continue moving forward.

  I also like the word brainstorm when talking about selling. What if in your conversations with a new prospect, you invite the prospect to brainstorm about his or her situation. “Neither of us is certain if I can be a valuable resource for you just yet. Based on what Bob said about your situation, I suspect I can. But first let’s brainstorm a little to see what that might look like. As we exchange information and ideas, I think the answer will become clear.”

  We’re being proactive but not pushy. We’re inviting them into a no-pressure conversation to see what the possibilities may be.

  I’m not saying you don’t want to have a sales process or plan to help you move a person from prospect to client—if it’s a good match. Of course you do! Just do it in a way that’s refreshing to your prospects. Invite them into a conversation.

  Sales and personal growth expert Brian Tracy (http://www.BrianTracy.com) says, “Top sales professionals see themselves as ‘Doctors of Selling.’ They see themselves as professionals, well educated, acting in their ‘patient’s’ best interest, and bound by a high code of ethics.”

  Like a doctor, a sales professional starts with the examination, which determines the diagnosis, which leads to the prescription. Each of these steps takes place through a series of permission asked for by the salesperson and granted by the prospect.

  Closing Versus Confirming

  Many people engaged in the sales process talk in terms of “closing the sale.” I like to think in terms of “confirming the relationship.” When the prospect decides to work with us, we’re not closing the relationship. And in most cases, we’re not closing the sales process either. We’re confirming the new relationship and moving forward with the delivery of the product or service. You may find me using the word closing from time to time in this book, but please know that I’m always referring to confirming the new relationship.

  In this fourth and final section of the book, I will provide you with many proven strategies and tactics designed to help you confirm more new relationships. And by working through referrals, this confirming process is almost always easier.

  12 BUILDING TRUST

  CREATING TRUST

  If there is any one element that must be present in a successful sales situation, it’s trust. And since referrals are borrowed trust, you enter all your new relationships at a higher point of trust.

  Trust allows the prospect to give you an appointment.

  Trust allows you to ask probing questions.

  Trust allows you to keep the sale moving forward.

  Trust allows the prospect to say yes to becoming a client.

  Trust is what allows your clients to accept your recommendations.

  Trust is what keeps your clients doing business with you.

  Trust is what generates referrals.

  Trust allows the cycle to repeat over and over again.

  Michael Vickers, in his book Becoming Preferred: How to Outsell Your Competition, lays out what he calls a “new model of selling.” In this model, Vickers says that “40% of the sales process is based in building trust with your prospect. Features, benefits, and confirming the business are still an important part, but pale in comparison to the importance of building trust.”

  Trust is not an easy thing to build quickly, but we need to focus on this and do our best. This chapter will stimulate your thinking and, I hope, your actions to build deeper trust with both prospects and clients. Do this and, according to Vickers, you’re 40 percent there.

  ASKING GOOD QUESTIONS BUILDS TRUST

  Chapter 13 is devoted to asking questions, but let’s relate that strategy in this chapter to building trust. Notice in the heading above that I said “good” questions. What do I mean by that? I mean questions that go beyond the surface level of basic information. For instance, let’s say you’re a financial advisor. As you are learning about you client’s priorities, problems, and plans for the future, you might hear your client say something like, “We want to be able to do what we want, when we want, without being too worried about budgets.” Okay, that’s nice information to have, but you want to take a closer look at that statement by asking, “What are some of the things you foresee yourself doing?” and “Why is this important to you?” These types of questions do three things. First, they demonstrate that you care and that you want to know what’s important to the client. Second, they will help you determine if you can help the client or if the client has unrealistic expectations. Third, just helping people get really clear on their financial future is a valuable process for most. Can you see how going deeper with your questions (and you can go even deeper than this) will help you build trust?

  ACTION STEP

  Think about the questions you typically ask and the answers you typically get. Are you going one, two, or three steps deeper? Are you demonstrating a sincere interest in a client’s situation by wanting to learn more?

  LISTENING WELL BUILDS TRUST

  Okay, you already know that you need to be a good listener. Gretchen, a financial advisor in Fairfax, Virginia, knew this too, and yet she told me she didn’t have a clue about how much she talked during her appointments until she had a bad case of laryngitis. For two days she ran appointments without being able to say much. She realized that these were some of the best appointments she ever had. She learned more about her clients, and her clients really felt listened to.

  Joey, a consultant near Houston, tells me that he never takes notes while a client is speaking. He just listens. Once the client is finished, he picks up his pen and paper and writes what he thought he heard, running it by the client as he writes. In this way, Joey really lets the client know he’s listening and truly wants to get it right.

  Stop talking! I don’t mean to be harsh, but most people just talk too much on their calls and appointments. People get into the presentation mode too quickly. We get the answer to a question and then “present” to that. Slow down! Ask questions. Per the previous strategy, ask follow-up questions to gain clarity and go deeper. And then listen. Stop listening to respond, and just listen to understand.

  ALWAYS LEADING WITH VALUE BUILDS TRUST

  If you ever stopped to think about the people in your life that you trust—particularly in business—I bet one of the common denominators for all those relationships would be that they happily serve you in some way. It seems to be human nature to begin to trust people who serve us, who give of themselves without always expecting compensation. So, to once again employ that useful term from Star Trek, your “prime directive” should be always to lead with value. Before any appointment with a prospect or client, stop and think, “How can I bring some extra, unexpected value to this person on this appointment?”

  Of course, there are many ways to bring value, including asking probing questions that get your clients thinking in ways they haven’t thought before. Another way is to help them with something that has little or nothing to do with your core product or service. Still another way to serve them is to give them referrals that help them—either prospects for their business or other service providers that can be a resource for them.

  ACTION STEP

  What are two probing questions you can ask prospects that they will not likely know the answer to but will get them thinking in new ways?

  TELLING THE TRUTH BUILDS TRUST

  While I suspect there are some salespeople and other professionals who out-and-out lie to their prospects and clients, this is not what I mean by “telling the truth.” In this context, I mean not withholding information that you think the clients need to hear, even if they might not like it. The respect and esteem your clients hold for you will usually increase when they know that you are being completely forthcoming with them, that you�
�re not holding anything back. I believe that, if expressed in the right way, we can say just about anything we need to say to another person. It’s all in the words we choose and the manner of our delivery.

  DISCUSSING EXPECTATIONS BUILDS TRUST

  I hope that you are in the habit of talking to prospects and clients about what they expect moving forward in the relationship. It’s a short and simple conversation that really helps build trust. Why? Because you demonstrate, in a genuine way, that you care about the future of the relationship and that you’ll still be around long after a product is sold or a service is rendered.

  There are many ways to enter into this sort of conversation. Here are a couple:

  1. “If you could build the perfect _______________ [insert your title here] ______________, what would he or she look like?” or “what would be the person’s characteristics?”

  2. “Let’s imagine it’s three years from today and we’ve been working together for that time. How will you know we’ve been successful? What is your measure of the success of our relationship?”

  Of course, there are many ways to enter into a conversation on expectations. You must use words that are genuine and natural for you. This is a conversation you want to have early in new relationships, possibly with a new prospect in the very first meeting. And it should be revisited from time to time throughout the relationship.

  ARTICULATING YOUR VALUE WITH CONFIDENCE BUILDS TRUST

  How we speak to our prospects and clients about the work we do can definitely help us build trust more quickly. The keys are confidence and clarity. Most business owners, salespeople, and other professionals wing it when it comes to how they talk about their value. But if you want to build trust and credibility in your efforts to make sales, winging it may be significantly hurting you.

  Let’s say you were looking for a coach for your business and you decided to interview two or three candidates. And let’s say you asked them questions such as, “How do you do what you do?” “For whom do you do what you do?” “Why do you do what you do?” and “What makes you different from other coaches?” I think you would choose (trust) the coach who was able to answer those questions clearly, confidently, and succinctly. Winging it does not build trust. Agree?

  So can you answer those questions without hemming and hawing? Or do you have clear, short, confident answers? Anyone who takes the time to do the preparation to answer those questions will win more new clients. I guarantee it!

  ACTION STEP

  Over the next week, when you’re speaking with small business owners, salespeople, or other professionals, ask them questions such as “What do you do?” “How do you do it?” “Whom do you do it for?” and “What makes you different?” Listen to their answers. Do those people have immediate, clear, confident, and sincere answers? Or do they hesitate? Now you know how you might be showing up to others if you haven’t done your work in this area. Then work on your answers and practice delivering them.

  NOT MAKING ASSUMPTIONS BUILDS TRUST

  How many times in your life—with clients, coworkers, friends, and family—have you assumed something, only to find out you were wrong? I suspect many, many times. The bigger the incorrect assumption, the more trouble we get ourselves into.

  Steven Gaffney is an author and expert in the area of honest communication. He has written three books on the topic, Just Be Honest, Honesty Works, and Honesty Sells (http://www.StevenGaffney.com), and is an expert in “getting the unsaid, said.” In all his work, he teaches a distinction he calls “Notice-Imagine.” He makes a great case for the concept that what we “notice” or “the facts” of a situation make up about 10 percent of our communication and that what we “imagine” or “our assumptions” make up about 90 percent of our communication. Knowing this, we can now see how much we get it wrong and why we need to be aware of this dynamic.

  Gaffney’s solution to this potential problem is to “check it out.” When a prospect or client says something that isn’t completely clear to you, check it out. When you are listening to a prospect and taking notes, repeat back what you thought you heard. Whenever you sense you might be off base with something, check it out.

  ADJUSTING TO PEOPLE’S COMMUNICATION STYLE BUILDS TRUST

  How people communicate their message to you is how they best hear your words. If people are very direct in their style of communication, they usually trust others who are direct with them. But they don’t trust (as easily) people who are much less direct in their style. Right or wrong, they perceive the indirect style as being “weak.” And the reverse is true. If you are very direct, your direct style of communication can push away less direct people (and you might not even be aware of it).

  Some people like to get down to business right away; they don’t like small talk. Other people need to have a little small talk to warm up the conversation before they get to talking about business. Too much small talk will drive a task-oriented person nuts. Getting down to business with a relationship-oriented person too soon will seem cold and impersonal.

  In a nutshell, most humans feel most comfortable with people who communicate like themselves. It seems to be human nature. And, of course, most intelligent and mature adults have learned how to be flexible and broaden their field of play—to be more accepting and effective with people who are different from them. This is a good thing.

  I see it this way. When we encounter people with a different communication style from ours, we give them the gift of our flexibility. In a sincere way, we adjust our style so they will feel more comfortable. We don’t become a different person, inauthentic. We just move a little in their direction so they feel more comfortable and are more open to listening to what we say.

  KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERTISE BUILD TRUST

  With all this conversation about communication and relationship skills, I don’t want to suggest that knowledge of products and services doesn’t fit into the conversation about trust. It does!

  Doing all the other things mentioned in this chapter on building trust, without becoming a true expert in one’s field, will build “false trust.” There’s an illusion of trustworthiness with no foundation.

  Learn how to explain even the most complicated aspects of what you do in terms that your prospects and clients can understand. Be very careful of using terms and jargon that are second nature to you but may not be to prospects. Teaching prospects and clients what they need to know will build trust, but it must be done in simple terms so they understand what you are saying and don’t feel talked down to. Simple graphic illustrations should be used whenever possible to explain different aspects of your product or service.

  Scientific studies have proved that most people learn faster and retain information longer when taken in through visual means over auditory means. Showing prospects and clients visual representations of concepts important to what you sell will aid their learning and retention and result in more sales for you.

  NOT RUNNING FROM PROBLEMS BUILDS TRUST

  A relationship that’s had a problem that’s been handled well is a stronger relationship than one that’s never had a problem. Agree? When problems hit, do you get a sinking feeling inside, or do you get energized about the opportunity? Okay, maybe that’s a bit optimistic, but do you sincerely view problems as opportunities? And I’m not talking platitudes, here. I’m sincere when I say that I truly do believe that problems are opportunities.

  Problems are opportunities to test yourself and show others what you’re made of. Problems are opportunities to learn more about yourself and others—including your clients. Problems are opportunities to gain more expertise in your field. My friend Gary Glazer calls problems “jackpots” because they are opportunities to build stronger trust.

  Not only do you not want to run from problems—becoming defensive and deflective—but you want to adopt the habit of digging for problems. You want to establish the habit of creating safe environments where your clients can complain, even about the least little things.

/>   ACTION STEP

  Tell your prospects early on in your sales process, “One thing you can count on from me is that I will not run away from problems. If we hit a snag, I’ll be there for you. In fact, I will be checking in with you from time to time just to make sure our communication is candid and our relationship is on solid ground.” Notice how the trust seems to build more quickly because of this.

  13 ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS

  SELLING STARTS WITH GREAT QUESTIONS

  To get prospects to give you time, let you ask them questions, and listen to your recommendations, they have to trust you and view you as a credible resource. Clearly, working from referrals contributes greatly to both those issues. There are other ways to build credibility as well. Relationship expert Andrew Sobel, author of Power Questions: Build Relationships, Win New Business, and Influence Others (John Wiley & Sons), makes the case that asking the right kinds of questions helps you build credibility in the eyes of your prospect. He says, “The questions we ask are often more important than what we tell. The CEO of a $12 billion company summed it up neatly when he told me, ‘When someone walks into my office and is trying to market to me or sell something, I can always tell how experienced they are by the quality of the questions they ask.’”

  You may already know the importance of asking the right questions. This chapter will address this important topic from several different directions, all designed to help you assess and adjust your questioning strategy.

  ASK PERMISSION TO ASK