Beyond Referrals Read online

  This mindset of curiosity will help you see the connections that exist in your clients’ lives. Once you see the connections, you can request specific introductions.

  Kris, tell me more about your uncle Ernie.

  Lee, tell me more about your role on the board of the directors for _________.

  Jessi, in what department here at XYC Corporation did you work before you transferred here?

  Always be curious and always be looking for connections. When you have the mindset of looking for connections, you see them. When you say to yourself every day, “Whom am I going to be introduced to today?” you see the connections that are right in front of you. Awareness is a powerful thing.

  ACTION STEP

  Find a simple way to remind yourself every day of the question, “Whom am I going to be introduced to today?” It could pop up in your computer calendar, or you could have a sticky note on your computer screen or dashboard. Empower someone in your life to ask you at the end of each day, “Whom did you get introduced to today?”

  ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE

  I’ve been teaching my VIPS Method™ for asking for referrals since 1996. It’s as relevant now as it was then. I cover it in more detail in my books Get More Referrals Now! and Don’t Keep Me a Secret!, but if I’m going to talk about being proactive for referrals, I think it’s important I review the VIPS Method in this book. This is a simple method to ask for referrals without pushing or feeling like you’re begging. Does it produce referrals every time? Of course not. But it works most of the time and never hurts a relationship.

  Think of the referrals you get as being the very important people in your business—the VIPs!

  V = Value Discussion. With every face-to-face meeting with prospects and clients, check in to make sure they see the value of the meeting, your process, your products or services, and the overall relationship. The context will dictate what this sounds like. Don’t be afraid of a negative response. And if there is something negative going on, you need to know about it so you can fix it or at least let the clients vent. This is not a “value telling.” Don’t tell them the value you’ve brought to them. Get them to put it in their own words. In this way, they get more in touch with the value, and you often get referrals without asking for them.

  I = Treat the Request with Importance. Why do you treat the request for referrals with importance? Because you believe in the work you do. (You do, don’t you?) You can treat this request with the importance it deserves in three main ways:

  1. Use an agenda for every meeting so that you manage the meeting well and don’t run out of time or forget. One of the agenda items will be “value discussion.”

  2. If you met the clients through a referral, now is the time to remind them.

  3. Convey your request with confidence. Say, “I have an important question to ask you.” Don’t be wishy-washy or apologetic. Ask with confidence!

  P = Get Permission to Brainstorm. Get buy-in for the conversation. There are times to be assumptive in the sales and referral processes, but now is not one of them. Don’t assume the clients will talk referrals with you. See if they are willing to “brainstorm” or “explore.” And make it a collaborative effort. Together you will think of others who should at least know about you. By getting buy-in to have this conversation, you soften your request just a bit. Now you’re not pushing anyone to do anything he or she doesn’t want to do. We’ve found that just softening the request a bit increases the number of people willing to talk referrals.

  S = Suggest Names and Categories. Don’t wing it with your referral conversation. (See the Red Folder System later in this chapter.) Come prepared with either some specific names of people to suggest or categories of people and businesses that you do great work for. I promise you, the more prepared you come to this conversation, the more confident you will be and the better your results. Start narrow with a specific person you want to meet, then expand it a little with categories, and then open it up more by asking the people you’re meeting with if they can think of anyone else. You begin the brain-storming first and then give them a chance to come up with names.

  CAREFUL ABOUT ASSUMING

  In the sales and referral process, there are times when being assumptive can help you and times it can hurt you.

  For instance, in the VIPS Method for asking for referrals, I strongly recommend that you not assume the client is ready, willing, and able to give you referrals just because you ask. Remember, P = get permission to brainstorm. You want to soften your request so that you get buy-in from your client. Being assumptive in this situation can hurt your efforts. It can make your client feel anxious and even defensive.

  I think that being assumptive about the value you’ve provided or the satisfaction level of your prospect or client can also hurt your efforts to generate quality referrals. Checking in for value recognized with your prospects and clients will help you get referrals without even asking. And when you do ask, you’re in a better position of getting them.

  When you assume your prospect or client recognizes your value, then you miss two opportunities:

  1. You miss an opportunity to see if anything is not quite right in the relationship. You miss an opportunity to ferret out a problem (could be a small problem capable of becoming a bigger problem). Sometimes you can fix these little problems, and sometimes you can’t. But allowing your client to vent always helps the trust level in a relationship.

  2. You miss an opportunity to help a prospect or client get more in touch with the value of the meeting, the process, and the overall relationship. When people speak out about the value they have recognized, they get more in touch with it. It becomes stronger and clear for them. This puts them in a stronger frame of mind to give referrals and introduce you to others.

  ACTION STEP

  Right now, start checking in with your prospects and clients at the end of each meeting to see if they found value in the meeting, your process, or the overall relationship. Let them know you’ll be doing this on a regular basis to make sure that your communication is as clear and candid as possible.

  SEVEN ACTION TRIGGERS THAT CREATE MORE REFERRALS

  Generating more and better referrals begins with your awareness. When you are fully aware of the opportunities that occur almost daily, then you will be able to leverage those opportunities to either promote referrals or ask for referrals.

  An action trigger is something your prospect or client does or says that can trigger a referral action on your part. Of course, you have to be careful to not be obnoxious about this. You may get four or five action triggers in one appointment. Clearly, you don’t act on every single one.

  Remain aware of the following actions triggers that can lead to referrals:

  1. Brand-new prospect appreciates you contacting him or her to take care of something the prospect has been putting off.

  2. Prospect appreciates your first meeting (finds it helpful).

  3. Prospect makes a decision to work with you. When the prospect writes a check, take referral action (promoting referrals or asking for referrals).

  4. Prospect or client mentions a friend, family member, or colleague, wondering if that person could benefit from knowing you.

  5. Client thanks you for your initial process. Finds it valuable.

  6. Client thanks you for being a good listener or explaining things well.

  7. Client thanks you for solving a problem or going to bat for him or her.

  ACTION STEP

  Either on your own or with your sales team or your staff, make a list of all the places prospects and clients typically express the recognition of your value. Make a list of the things they say when they express this recognition of value to you. At subsequent meetings, take a few minutes to share some of these action triggers with your staff or colleagues. And talk about what you did to leverage these action triggers by either promoting referrals or asking for referrals.

  IS THERE ONE BEST WAY TO ASK FOR REFERRALS?

 
Yes and no. I think there are better ways than others. For instance, a client-centered approach seems to work much better than an advisor-centered approach. Make your request about the value of the meeting, process, or relationship.

  With that said, my philosophy is, “If it’s legal, ethical, and moral and produces opportunities to help others, then do it!”

  Are Some Words Better Than Others?

  I believe the words you use to promote referrals and ask for referrals are important. Words have power. Words get people thinking and feeling.

  During our Referral Boot Camp, for instance, we spend a lot of time looking at some of the more powerful words to use in generating referrals and introductions. Sometimes a specific turn of phrase creates an aha! for someone attending the boot camp, and a whole new course of action (and results) is set in motion.

  Here are some real-life, proven strategies that my clients are using to talk about referrals.

  “In the past, I’ve alluded to my desire to reach other people with the important work I do. Given the success we’re having with your situation, I thought now would be a good time to identify some folks you care about who should know about my important work.”

  “Over the last two meetings, I’ve noted five people you mentioned who may be strong candidates for the work that I do. I’d love to get your thoughts about that and, if appropriate, see if you can introduce me to them.”

  “Thinking about the work that I do, what three people should we consider introducing to this important work?”

  “If you believe there is value in the work that I do, you will be doing your friends, family, and colleagues a favor by introducing them to me.”

  “As we brainstorm folks you think should know about the important work I do, let’s see if we can identify some people who would take my call just because you asked them to.”

  “I’m looking for about 100 names. (You’re kidding, right? I don’t even know 100 people.) Okay, how about five?”

  “I’m certain these folks would prefer to hear from you before they hear from me. What I’ve found works best is a personal introduction, where the three of us meet for a meal—could be lunch, dinner, or even breakfast on the way into work. Short of that, a phone call or e-mail from you urging them to take my call can work as well. Let’s take a look at each of these folks and see what approach fits what person.”

  I also believe that the words you use will lose much of their impact and effectiveness if they don’t sound natural. Be proactive in promoting and asking for referrals. And be genuine!

  WHOM DO YOU ASK FOR REFERRALS?

  As I explained above, you can ask for referrals when value has been given and value has been recognized. We determine these moments by paying attention to the action triggers and asking value-seeking questions.

  If you’ve not been in the habit of asking for referrals, you may be lacking a little confidence and not know where to start first. Here is a flow of whom to ask first, which will get you started, build your confidence, and produce some great results along the way.

  1. Clients who love you. Look at your client list and identify the clients who love you. Even if you bumble through your request for referrals, they’ll feel sorry for you and still give you referrals. Start here at the path of least resistance for both you and them.

  2. Clients who have given you referrals. You’ve been getting referrals without asking for them, right? (I hope so.) Go to those people next. They already think you’re referable, and they’ve proved their willingness to connect you with others. This is also a path of very low resistance.

  3. Clients you’ve met through a referral. Clients you’ve met through a referral are predisposed to give you referrals. It just makes sense that if they met you through a referral, they’ll be more open to the process. Not all will be ready to give you referrals on the spot, but they’ll be happy to get the conversation started.

  4. Clients you want to clone. If you start with the above three categories, you are now a lean, mean referral machine. Your confidence is strong, and your skill is practiced. Now you can begin asking your biggest best clients for referrals. I don’t recommend asking these folks for referrals unless they love you or until you feel some confidence with the process.

  ACTION STEP

  Look at your client list to identify the above groups. Practice asking a couple of times with a colleague or staff member (or whomever you can wrangle into helping you) and start working through your list.

  ASKING FOR REFERRALS IS NOT A PUSH

  Many people see the referral process as something they are pushing onto their clients, something they are doing to their clients. If you view referrals as a push, I can understand why you might not feel comfortable doing it.

  I don’t see a request for referrals as a push at all. I see it as a series of questions and suggestions, all coming from a belief in the work you do and with a genuine desire to help others. At no time are the clients going to feel out of control in this conversation. First, you see if they have seen the value in your work, process, or relationship. If they have, you ask for permission to brainstorm. They can say yes or no. Either response is okay. If they say yes, then you suggest a few places to explore. If it goes nowhere, you back off. And at no time do you push your clients into anything they don’t want to do. In fact, you even pay attention to their nonverbal communication to see if they are beginning to feel uncomfortable but are not able or willing to tell you yet.

  When you know how to get into the conversation with confidence, explore with confidence, and back off with confidence, you’ll ask for referrals more often, and you’ll never hurt a relationship.

  Come Prepared to Ask for Referrals

  Here’s a referral success story from Gordon, a financial advisor. His story illustrates the important concept of coming prepared to ask for referrals—meaning knowing where you want to take the conversation. Some people call this idea “using a prompting list.”

  “I just had a couple of appointments with good clients that like me, and I had some success at getting referrals the easy way. Case in point: I was meeting with a successful florist. I mentioned that I was sending letters out to other florists to generate business, and my client said, ‘Let’s go over that list together.’ He offered information on the people he knew. They went from cold to warm in 15 minutes.

  “I did the same with another client in the heating and air-conditioning business. When I was having lunch with him to go over my list, his dentist’s wife came over to say hello; the dentist and his wife were his clients as well. I called my own dentist and ran the other dentist’s name by him. It turns out that my dentist sends him his patients for root canals. It ended up that I could approach these prospects with confidence now, which makes the call 1,000 percent easier and certainly generates more business.”

  I think Gordon exhibits a true referral mindset, commitment to referrals, and the courage to make them happen.

  TWO GREAT TIMES TO ASK FOR REFERRALS

  Be alert to these two times to strike: when the excitement factor is high and when that “referral moment” is there.

  The Excitement Factor

  I got this little idea from Valerie Cade of Calgary, Canada (author of Bully Free at Work). Cade notes, “I ask for referrals when my clients are excited about the work I have done or will do for them. I’ve had clients get excited even before I start the work. When I sense that excitement, I ask for referrals—and I get them!”

  Not all prospects and clients “get excited” about the work you do, but they all see the value (or at least most of them do). Are you paying attention to when your prospects and clients see the value in the work you do? Are you leveraging that value recognition by promoting referrals and asking for referrals?

  Referral Momentum

  Brian Cosby, in Flint, Michigan, told me this: “I ask for referrals right after a client provides an unsolicited referral. Obviously these clients already think I’m referable and are willing to give referrals. I
think, ‘If they’re willing to give me one, they might be willing to give me a couple more if I open up the conversation to other possibilities.’”

  I think this is brilliant. First, wait until the first referral is wrapped up—meaning you have the introduction figured out and you have the contact information.

  Then you keep going with something like, “George, thank you for the trust you have in me and your willingness to introduce me to your sister. I promise she’ll be in good hands. I was wondering if you’d be willing to brainstorm a little about other people who should know about the important work I do. I have a couple of ideas to run by you, just to see what you think.” You bring up either people you already know in their life or categories of people you know you serve well (life events or money-in-motion categories).

  If they are open to the process, they’ll say yes and you probably get a few more referrals. If they want to leave it at one, so be it. No harm, no foul.

  ASKING FRIENDS AND FAMILY FOR REFERRALS (AND BUSINESS)

  Do you have a business where friends and family can become clients or give you referrals to others? As with any other prospect or client, the key ingredient is the other person truly seeing the value you provide. And just as it does with regular prospects and clients, this often takes more than one meeting for the person to recognize your full value.

  Most people don’t approach friends and family for business because they don’t want to hurt their existing relationship by coming on too strong. This is a valid concern, but there are some ways to approach this that can make it easy on all parties. It’s all in how you bring it up. Here are a few sample conversations that might help you move into this area more confidently and effectively.